when it rains it pours

Well you know that saying when people are having rough times it comes in threes? I was hoping mine was just three days but such is not the case... at this point I wouldnt be suprised if it was 3 months long....its for surely going to be three weeks long...super unfortunate but I have to keep moving on..

So pretty much Im not enjoying Cedar any more. There have been several issues with the room mates and then other issues with teachers and retards who also go here. I think I let things get to me too easily but I care so much about my friends and I just dont want them to screw up their lives and if certain patterns are continued... they're going to form some pretty nasty habbits and life will get harder and harder for them. Why is it that we make life harder for ourselves? When things are tough we do something stupid to take our mind off it which end up being regreted in the end...therefore life gets tougher. Its like we punish ourselves for the one stupid thing we did over and over again.

Besides Cedar, things with the person I care deeply for really are on a roller coaster ride right now. We talked last night for quite some time and I was really upset about everything. The person wasn't making any sense, almost lifting my hopes and then put me back on planet earth again. Its hard because it doesnt just involve me...It involves me, the person, my family and my thoughts. I dont bring the issue up around my family because it usually brings up some bad feelings and is not really welcomed.... but if they only knew how I feel inside... how its tearing me apart... how I know that things are supposed to work...like i said earlier....SOOO Frustrating!!!!

Almost happy thought for the day, Im almost officially a member of Alpha Phi, one thing I can count on with girls I can count on 24/7. Downside to this, I need money for member fees. Is due in a week and I am still jobless...which sucks...

Ok finally the happy moment of the day, I got another letter from my best friend Jarod today :) He doesn't write a ton but what he writes makes my day and lifts my spirits alot... I miss that kid to death but Im so glad he finally got his butt out on his mission :) He loves it there which is so comforting to hear!!! His birthday is friday :) I think I'll send him a picture and some starburts :) Funny enough at the end of his letter he put "Keep being happy! Thats why we are here...That we may have joy!"
what an amzing yet simple phrase.....Shocking that he sends it to me when I needed to hear it most... it sounds so easy but its so hard to accomplish.

I went to logan and orem this past weekend! Which was a total blast!! I went to the BYU USU game with megan and fam and chandler! I stayed the night at her place and got to see my couz Kaity who I havent seen in about 6 years which was so much fun! I was worried things would be awkward and what not but it was amazing! We talked for hours!! We drove down to Megs house saturday morning and I drove through salt lake for the first time (on the freeway but thats still a first) it was rainging super hard but I survived! I saw Zach too that night in salt lake( which i drove in for the first time :) ) It was good seeing him again :) Sunday we watched conference at megs house and I went to the afternoon session with steve, who got his mission call to the canada halifax mission :)

Weekend good, sunday night bad, today....numb...what next...Im just trying to cling on to the few happy things right now... Morgan ships off in a week from tomorrow...crazy...

Until next time.....